Becoming an Accomplished Lady

On a visit to Knott's Berry Farm, I bought a 10 cent fortune from the animatronic grandmother machine. The machine reminded me of the movie Big, she was that creepy. In the first part of the day, I received this awful fortune:

The rest of my family with me received these amazing fortunes about how awesome they are.


When my mom arrived at Knott's I showed her my awful fortune to which she responded with laughter. I knew I had to brave getting another fortune from Grandmother's Prediction. She seemed even more creepy this time around moving her hand back and forth over her tarot cards. Out popped my card, and just when I thought Grandmother couldn't be any more insulting to me, she slaps me with the prediction below:

I must learn to prepare myself socially?! I lack accomplishments, refinement and adequate polish, and I must assimilate them before I can win! What have been doing these past 29 years?! I felt like Elizabeth Bennet in the scene with Lady Catherine. I’m not good enough for Mr. Darcy. Damn you, Grandmother’s Prediction!

I went back to Knott’s 2 weeks ago, and I decided once again to redeem my pride at Grandmother’s Prediction. I had my dime ready in my hand and my eyes were prepared to meet Grandmother’s. Only the machine conveniently had an out of order sign on it. Now this got the wheels in my head turning. Was I having some weird Tom Hanks' Big moment? I do know that I am not a 13 year old that wakes up a grown up, however, would it kill me to learn to become an accomplished lady? Is there a certain lack of refinement about me. Maybe the Grandmother’s Prediction machine will miraculously be back in order when I can be referred to as accomplished.

So how does one even become an accomplished lady? I decided I had go to the source, if I felt like Elizabeth Bennet after reading that prediction, then I had to direct my attention to none other than Jane Austen. I must admit that I have actually never read a Jane Austen book, so I will begin reading Pride and Prejudice as my inspiration for this challenge I have bestowed upon myself.

Jane Austen wrote, "A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved……’All this she must possess’ added Darcy, ‘ and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading."

I’m not going to lie, that’s kind of a lot….on second thought, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!